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• Studies show that the more words children hear every day, the better they are prepared to go to Kindergarten.  This begins with babies!  I would add also that this needs to be meaningful talk when you and the child are engaged in doing, or looking at  something together.  It obviously cannot be random words that someone says around the children!  The words must be meaningful to what you and the child are doing together.

​In 2019, new Moms and Dads have access to talk television 24/7, and other means of information and advice at the touch of their fingertips.  Some of this advice is factual, some is opinion, some is downright crazy.  How are new parents supposed to navigate all the “facts” and recommendations about parenting, to make the right choices for their new babies?   What are some important, practical, and proven parenting tips they can trust and follow right now?

What do newborn babies need?
 

• Babies need gentle touch and loving cuddles.  Hold your baby close to make her feel secure.

 

• Babies need quiet, loving talk.  Your baby may already recognize your voice because her hearing is fully functioning by the third trimester.  The familiar sound of your voice will comfort her.  https://www.parents.com/baby/care/newborn/the-world-according-to-babies/

 

• Babies need to hear lullabies.  It doesn’t matter if you think you don’t have a beautiful singing voice.  It’s beautiful to your baby. 

 

• Babies need to hear nursery rhymes you remember from your childhood.  If you don’t remember any, check out a nursery rhyme book from the library, or ask your mother if she has one put away in storage. 

 

• Babies need face-to-face time with Mom and Dad.  Your baby will begin to recognize your face—at first only at close range (12-18 inches).  Most importantly, your baby is learning love and trust. 

 

• Babies need to listen to you read short, simple books with melodic rhythm and rhyme.

 

• Babies need to be warm and dry, and comfortably dressed.  Talk to your baby about pulling his shirt carefully over his head, and putting his arms in the sleeves.  Talk to him about snapping his sleeper, picking him up, and holding him gently in your arms.

 
All of the above suggestions will help your baby feel safe, secure, and loved.  When you talk about everything you do, your baby will listen and learn to understand what you say. After your baby understands about 40-50 words and simple directions, he will speak those exciting first words at around twelve months of age.  So cuddle and talk to your baby and watch him learn. 
 
©2019 by Karen K Rossi. Learn To Talk Around The Clock®
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Have you ever wondered what it means to be "a good parent?"  I know I did!  Our three children were adopted, and we stood in front of a judge in a dark, wood-paneled courtroom each time.  And each time, we raised our right hands as he said, "Do you promise to be good parents?"  We answered, "Yes."  What did that mean?  Could we keep that promise? 
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I made a promise to myself that I would do everything in my power to find the answer.  You know we don't actually get an instruction book to tell us how it all works.  We get instruction books with almost everything else in our lives--washers, televisions, stoves, lawnmowers, and snowblowers.  But not with our babies!  We are given very little that tells us how to be parents--let alone, "good parents." 
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My grandmother led me to believe that all mothers are born with an internal switch that would flip on as soon as we held our babies in our arms.  We would suddenly know how to be parents!  We would care for them, watch them grow, walk, run, catch a ball, and ride a bike.  Then one morning we wake up, and it's the first day of Kindergarten!  Where did all the years go?  Are they really ready for the first day of school?  
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I told my mom and dad that I wondered if our oldest was ready to start school.  My dad told me that of course she was.  That was the the job of the Kindergarten teacher.  That's what they get paid for!  Of course I knew that advancing research into brain development now tells a very different story.  We now know that learning begins with babies!  You heard right.  It all begins with babies!  
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We know we need to talk to our babies, engage them in little conversations about what we are doing, whether changing diapers or washing windows!  We should sing to them, tell them nursery rhymes, and read books.  In turn, our babies will begin to show us they understand some of the things we frequently say.  After a while they will begin to say their first words, expressions, 2-word combinations, and simple sentences.  Of course I can't promise how each individual child will respond, because all children are different, just like you and I are different.  But you will know your child better, and you will make simple memories together that will last a lifetime.  
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My son recently died of cancer at 29 years of age.  Shortly before he died, he suddenly raised his head from his pillow and said, "Will somebody tell me about my life?"  Family and friends took turns telling him about fun times they had growing up.  When they were finished, I talked to him for hours, telling him about all the funny stories I remembered from his childhood.  I told him about all his favorite things and his not-so-favorite things.  I sang him his favorite songs.  I told him about his first stitches, and the funny haircuts he always wanted.  I reminded him of all the calls I had from the Assistant Principal from his high school.  I told him how smart he was.  I recalled the road trips we took together, our favorite National Parks, and those we had plans to visit.  
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A few weeks later, a friend and I were talking and she said that I should feel comfort knowing I had fulfilled the promise.  I asked her what she was talking about.  She said, "You have the answer to the question, 'What does it mean to be a good parent?'  Being a good parent means having no regrets."  I realized she was right.  I have deep sadness in my life, many many joyous memories, but actually no regrets.  I know we had wonderful times together.  I have so many  wonderful memories.  
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We don't get a "do-over" for our babies' childhoods.  So talk to your babies, engage them in little conversations, sing those songs (even if they are off-key), read books over and over, and cuddle your babies.  You will never regret all those wonderful times together.

​What is a conversation?  It is the back and forth sharing of information, opinion, viewpoint or updates between people.  It takes at least two people to be in a conversation.  It takes a shared and agreed upon language or method of communicating.  It does not have to be face to face, although facial expressions and body language add to the content.  Can a conversation be in a text?  Can you disagree?  Can you have a conversation with an infant?  With a stroke victim who has lost the ability to speak?  Can you have a conversation if one person is using jargon or terminology that the other person does not understand?  Can you have a conversation if one of the parties changes the topic before you are finished?  Is it a real conversation if you are attempting to converse while the other person is texting, checking for messages, or looking for a sale on Amazon? 

​​You see, conversation is an art.  To be a good participant in a conversation, one must focus on your conversational partner, and be a good listener.  I think you must enter an ongoing conversation respectfully, and just listen for a while before you jump in.  If after listening for a few minutes you realize that the conversation is personal or private, excuse yourself and catch up with them later.  When you are in a conversation you have to listen to what the other person is saying before you respond.  It’s easier to keep the conversation going when you know something about the other person’s interests or the topic under discussion.  However, if one  asks good questions, that will keep the conversation going.  You cannot force a conversation with another person.  If the other person honestly does not want to converse with you, you cannot have a conversation.  Be conscientious and do not waste another person’s time by going on and on and on.  Perhaps after a few minutes, you will have satisfactorily concluded your part of the conversation. 

​Conversation is like a game of ping pong.  One person “serves,” or starts the conversation with a particular topic.  Another person “returns” by listening and then adding a comment or question that stays on topic.  The conversation is bounced back and forth between two or more people until the partners cannot keep the conversation going any longer.  Then it becomes another person’s responsibility to “serve,” or start a conversation on a different topic.  Again, the conversation topic is bounced back and forth and each conversational partner adds a comment or asks a question when he or she “receives” the conversational turn.  One must not monopolize the conversation.  Then it ceases to be a conversation and becomes a soliloquy.  A good conversation is about a topic that is easily shared and bounced back and forth productively.  It is important for all partners to understand when the conversation is over, and know how to gracefully move on. 

​I am not particularly good at cocktail party conversations.  I’ve worked very hard to become a better listener, and I have tried to think of some topics I could discuss before I’m in the situation.  For example, I could talk about a good book I just read, or a great National Park I visited.  If I’m  in a group of singles, I know it’s not a good idea to talk on and on about my children or grandchildren.  I also know better than to bring up something controversial, like politics, unless I know the the other people in the group concur.  I’m working on it.  I would love to have a conversation with some of you!   I’m great at conversations about teaching young children.  Check out my “Unlimited Mentoring Program” on my website.  We could talk about language and conversation development—one of my favorite, and most well-informed topics!    

​It is vitally important to practice conversations with our children, of all ages.  For ideas on how to have conversations with your young children, yes, even babies, please refer to our Learn To Talk Around The Clock™ Talking Tips newsletter.  The September-October issue features “Conversation” as its theme.  You may go to www.learntotalkaroundtheclock.com and scroll down to the section where you can sign up for the newsletter.  After you receive the November newsletter, you will have access to previous newsletters.  The one at the top of the list should be September-October, “Conversations.” 
 
Thank you for conversing with me.  I’m done now.  Over and out.  K
www.learntotalkaroundtheclock.com